GoodGymers took a stroll through the deep dark wood.
Elsa saw them and GoodGymers looked good.

Elsa, from Friends of Horsenden Hill, knew the fearless 14 GoodGymers who arrived at Horsenden Farm on a sunny Saturday were the only team large and brave enough to work so close to where the Gruffalo lurked in the woods behind the farmhouse.

First, she asked Gus, Steph Ducat and Richard to gather the timber stacked beside the farmhouse and reinforce the dead hedge. A sturdy barrier against the hungry Gruffalo, perhaps?

Next, Elsa sent Afshin, Iram and Kash to wheelbarrow a mountain of green waste - rotting onion tops, spoiled peppers, pattypan squash and potatoes - to a spot near the canoe club. Was this a cunning plan to tempt the Gruffalo towards the canal instead of the farm?

Finally, Elsa recruited Andrew, Breda, Emma, Harvey, Melissa, Penny, Scott and Sevan for an enormous weeding job, hoeing and scraping the grass and weeds from the path leading to the Gruffalo's lair. Surely she wasn't making it easier to spot the monster's turned-out toes? Not at all. By clearing away the soft carpet of greenery, she'd ensured that if the Gruffalo sneaked in to steal the pigs, the scrape of his terrible claws against the hard, dry ground would give him away long before he reached the farm.

With the farm secured from its fearsome woodland neighbour, the GoodGymers, led by Elsa's trusty dog Archie, headed through the deep dark wood, following the heavenly aroma of Horsenden's famous pizza. Then, suddenly, they stumbled upon... the Gruffalo!

"Here's my favourite food!" the Gruffalo said. '"GoodGymer crumble!"

But one sniff of the pizza wafting through the woods changed his mind. By the time he reached the farm, there wasn't a slice left. The well-fed GoodGymers simply strolled past the Gruffalo's lair on their way to their second task at the top of Horsenden Hill, leaving the poor monster to rummage through the pile of green waste by the canal in search of a few scraps of rotten onion.

The third session with Clean Up River Brent this summer eventually brought us a new chapter in the river’s story: planting! After hacking the unwanted plants last month, Andrew, Steph Ducat, Sevan and Kash were back at the Gurnell / Sixty Trees Way in Greenford to prepare the riverbank soil for the plants that had finally been delivered to Ben from CURB. The Ealing GoodGymers were joined this time by Maxime from GoodGym Hounslow and balsam bashers Andres and Mark.

While the team was getting into wellies or waders on that hot July morning (it was already 30 degrees!), Ben lined up the boxes with plugs and a bag of reeds in rows. The plants were arranged in the order in which they would be placed on the riverbank:

• Juncus - their grass-looking plugs would be planted directly in the gravel, where the water was shallow; their superpower is to filter the junk out of water - they are amazing at fighting the river pollution!

• Iris - those flowering plants can tolerate either very dry or very damp environments (depending on the variety); their beautiful flowers easily attract both human and pollinator attention.

• Typha a.k.a. bullrush - according to Ben, those were the plants whose dark brown spikes looked like cigars; we couldn’t tell that from the appearance of the young plants yet, but could imagine them as a typical wetland inhabitant that is great at accumulating toxins from polluted water.

• Reeds - or Phragmites; those aquatic plants can easily grow taller than a person (maybe not taller than Ben); their roots are excellent at filtering out impurities from sewage water, which sadly enters the River Brent.

• Hemp agrimony - this herb’s fluffy florets are irresistible for pollinators; despite cannabinum in the name it’s not the cannabis you may be thinking about.

Ben was hoping for three outcomes of our successful planting session:

• Improvement of water quality

• Habitat creation

• Boosting the riverbank’s aesthetic appearance

Before we got to planting this Sunday, we had to spend some time preparing the soil, which, despite being so close to the water, was quite dry in the hot weather - and full of tangled bramble roots! That’s why we’ve left some of the planting fun for another session in two weeks. Fancy joining us in this biodiversity quest? Sign up now!

It was more kitty then snippy at the start of our monthly session with HANGOT today. As we walked the tools from HANGOT's base to Osterley Lock Orchard, Steph and Andrew found a cat owner in distress. The pair helped the owner get back onto their bike and later, Melissa saw the cat and the human lazing by the canal 😺.

When the team got to the orchard, everything had shot upwards since their last visit 4 months ago and the ground was covered with nettles and brambles. Those needed to be cleared from around the trees and at the back, there was a damaged plum tree to take care of too.

Steph and Andrew went straight for the log moving task at the plum tree. It turned out to be some big branches that needed to be cut down to size and moved to the compost heap. With the help of some HANGOT saws, the dead wood and weeds were cleared and the tree patched up, with the hope that the tree will recover and continue to give fruit.

Melissa, Scott and Sevan roamed around the rest of the orchard, clearing rings around each of the fruit trees. They chopped, they raked and they moved the brambles, nettles and other weeds to the compost pile, completing their work on most of the fruit trees. Cutting away the rival plants meant that the trees could take all of the nutrients and rain (if there'll be any) that they needed from the soil, instead of having to share it with the growing blackberries.

Today was the last session for long time HANGOT leaders Mirjam and Frank who are moving out of the area. Mirjam was the task owner when GoodGym Ealing were introduced to the group and they've influenced how HANGOT has developed and thrived. The relationship with GoodGym was handed over to another HANGOT member, Clive, a few months ago and new leaders are now in place, but Mirjam and Frank's departure marks a changing of the guard at the orchards.

As it happened, the person who founded HANGOT 11 years ago came back to volunteer at today's session. As she and Clive caught up about the many changes and moments of luck and difficulty over the years, Clive was heard to say:

"We couldn't have kept going without GoodGym."

...and he said it because he believed it. Not because Sevan was sitting next to him.

On the longest day of 2026, four GoodGymers met Ben Morris and the other Balsam Bashers from Clean Up River Brent (CURB) for a biodiversity-boosting mission. It was only 10 am, but with the sun rising so early at this time of year, it already felt almost like afternoon.

Having defeated the invasive Himalayan balsam on the banks of the River Brent near the Brent Viaduct last summer, the next step was to build a fortress of native plants. Earlier this year, CURB had planted purple loosestrife and reeds ("the good guys") in the space reclaimed from Himalayan balsam ("the baddie"). However, much of the riverbank had since been occupied by a different gang: stinging nettles, cleavers and brambles.

With another delivery of reeds still on the way, our mission was to prepare the ground for future planting events. Cue hacking, slashing, lopping, chopping and digging.

Andrew, who fondly remembered his previous slashing mission with CURB, joined regulars Steph Ducat, Sevan and Kash. Armed with wellies, the four GoodGymers ventured down to the riverbank. Sevan and Kash even had the pleasure of dipping their booted feet into the cool river water - a welcome relief on such a hot and thirsty morning.

"Every minute a dive into the water gets more and more tempting!" – Andrew.
"I'd say have a swim, but I cannot say that." – Ben.
"You can swim as long as you're not getting in contact with the water." – Andrew.

Unfortunately, the River Brent isn't exactly a wild swimming destination. The water is known to be heavily polluted, containing sewage and harmful bacteria, making it far from safe for a dip. That's one of the reasons CURB exists. Alongside practical conservation work, the group monitors water quality, removes rubbish, raises awareness through public engagement, and campaigns against sewage pollution in the river system. We'd all love to see the Brent become a clean and thriving ecosystem once again. Encouragingly, a few volunteers spotted fish during the session, proving there is life in the river - but there's still plenty of work to do.

And so we got to work.

Steph wielded a monstrous slasher, mercilessly cutting back unwanted vegetation. Andrew took on the nettles and brambles with shears and a fork. Standing ankle-deep in the river, Sevan focused on the delicate task of rescuing the loosestrife and reeds by removing bindweed and nettles. Kash worked the slope between Steph's assault and Sevan's rescue mission, chopping back nettles and sticky willy.

At one point, alarm was raised when a couple towering hogweed plants were spotted rising above the surrounding vegetation. If you haven't encountered this particular baddie before, giant hogweed is a highly invasive species whose sap can cause severe burns when exposed to sunlight, leading to painful blisters and long-lasting skin damage. Fortunately, Ben confirmed that the plants in question were merely common hogweed rather than their far more sinister cousin, and the slashing could continue.

"These hogweeds are enormous... but not giant." – Sevan.

In a little under two hours of hard work in the sun, we cleared a significant area that is now nearly ready for planting. We left most of the roots for a less dry day, when they'll be easier to dig out. We're looking forward to hearing from Ben about the next delivery of plants so that we can arrange a follow-up session and cement our victory over the baddies by planting more of the good guys along the riverbank!