For her final deed in Hounslow on Thursday afternoon, Kash ran to Mrs H, whom she had visited before for tasks as epic as cutting down an apple tree and mowing both the front and back gardens in one go. This time, however, the heroic aspect was nowhere near the same level. Mrs H had been waiting so long for help that she had tackled all the big jobs herself. And she was ninety!

All that remained for Kash was weeding the concrete areas and a flower bed. But there was also a particularly special weed to scrape off: moss. And moss was the subject of the final Labour of Hounslow Kash had been assigned to complete—or so she thought.

Despite the relatively modest nature of the task, Mrs H decided to help Kash with the sweeping. In reality, she simply couldn't stand sitting indoors watching TV and eating out of boredom. Kash could certainly relate and was happy to welcome Mrs H's contribution. Together, they made a great team and eventually captured all the moss in a bag. Mrs H was very grateful that Kash had come to team up with her.

After a day of more or less challenging, but equally fulfilling labours, Kash felt elated to have swapped a regular workday in front of a screen for a hero's journey. She ran the 6 km back to Ealing, where she sat in front of a screen to write about the labours she had completed that day.

Mr T was a man living near Hounslow Heath, diligent in his recycling efforts: separating glass from plastic and paper from cardboard. Unfortunately, because of poor health and limited mobility, he couldn't go downstairs to dispose of his rubbish and recycling.

The myth claimed that his stables had never been cleared of recycling. This was, in fact, only a myth, as Kash had visited Mr T for recycling disposal two weeks before her third Labour of Hounslow, on a warm Thursday in September. As the day progressed, Kash’s deeds seemed to be becoming less and less heroic, but she was not discouraged and undertook the task.

There were so many bags of recycling to take downstairs that Kash briefly considered rerouting the rivers Crane and Brent to flush all the recycling out of the building. Eventually, she decided against it, as that would have added too much time to the task, leaving her without a lunch break for all her Labours of Hounslow. She then threw three small bags of rubbish down the chute and carried the recycling downstairs, leaving Mr T’s stables free of waste and the gentleman feeling much relieved.

The golden bulbs of the Hounsperides were kept in Ms M’s garden at the far western edge of the world: Hounslow. The bulbs were guarded by the serpent-dragon Ivy and were said to grant immortality.

Kash arrived at Ms M’s garden to undertake the second Labour of Hounslow: burying the golden tulip bulbs deep underground to prevent anyone from foolishly gaining immortality and missing out on living life to the fullest.

Kash performed the heroic deed in the wrong order, first fiddling with the small weeds, then burying the twenty two bulbs, and finally hacking down the guardian serpent-dragon. Nonetheless, the task was completed, and Kash hoped that Ms M would see beautiful flowers blooming from the flowerbed in spring.

Kash was assigned a series of moderately heroic tasks to complete, to atone for her contempt for sitting down and staring at glowing screens all day.

The first deed awaited her in Lampton - a 6 km run from Kash’s home - where Mr M and his wife had a lovely garden but were finding it increasingly difficult to maintain.

Once Kash had proved her worth by slaying the minor weeds in a flowerbed, Mr M’s wife assigned her a bigger task: turning over all the soil in the bed. With this done, Kash was ready to face the final boss: the Lamptonean Hydra. It looked like several ordinary rose bushes, but every time Kash beheaded a stem bearing a rosehip, a new one grew in its place. She had to be swift and deadhead all the branches in a single blow to defeat the monster.

Mr M’s wife was very grateful to Kash for freeing her garden from the Hydra and offered her tea, coffee, and an appointment as chief gardener. But Kash accepted only tap water before running off to undertake the second Labour of Hounslow.