A landline was something that Mr C depended on. He felt much more at home with his cordless phone rather than peering down at the tiny screen of his mobile. For the last month, his landline was giving him the silent treatment, meaning that he couldn't use it to order in his prepared meals. He couldn't dial out and no one could dial in.

Mr C had his current and past landline phones set out for Kash and Sevan. He'd tried all of 4 of them without any luck and 2 of them brought back memories for Sevan as he remembered the same models being at his home many years ago. Nostalgic or not, no matter which phone was plugged in, there was no ring tone.

The GoodGymers searched the TalkTalk website for some way of getting help. Most routes ended up with them needing to log in to an online account, which Mr C didn't have. After a few attempts on the customer service phone line where the automated flow hung up on them, they eventually found themselves number 27 in a queue to talk to an agent. They waited... and waited... and waited... and nothing happened for over an hour. There was no TalkTalking with TalkTalk.

In the meantime, Sevan checked out the phone socket and looked up how it should be wired to see if something was wrong. Everything was in order, so the problem seemed to be somewhere outside Mr C's home. Without being able to talk to TalkTalk, there was no way of making any progress through them or OpenReach, so all 3 of them were a bit stuck.

Coming back to Ms F’s shopping mission routine after a week away, I wasn’t surprised to find that the lady had almost run out of bottled water and that I’d be the one to restock it. What did surprise me was Ms F waving an umbrella at me as I climbed five flights of stairs to reach her flat.

She explained that she had recently fallen. The main casualty of the accident was, quite luckily, an umbrella, which had refused to close ever since.

“This umbrella has been lying in front of my flat for the last four days. I have a new neighbour. She must be thinking I’m crazy.” - Ms F.

I haven’t owned an umbrella for the last 20 years, but my muscle memory of folding that contraption hasn’t died. I decided to defend Ms F’s reputation and close the umbrella. It was bent, and there was no way to operate it smoothly again in that state. I’d almost given up on this side quest, but the thought of all the GoodGymers who would spend an extra two minutes trying, and possibly succeeding, made me go against my impatient nature. After two minutes of tinkering, the umbrella was either more or less broken, but at least it was folded, much to Ms F’s relief.

After that warm-up, I proceeded to the main set: the groceries. The list included a few items not typical of Ms F, such as beetroot salad, tinned tomatoes, Rich Tea biscuits, and Grape-Nuts - a cereal brand I’d never heard of.

I also learnt that the whole business with the fish counter closing early due to staff shortages, along with the availability of breaded haddock, had ceased to matter to Ms F, as her oven was broken. The poached salmon, which didn’t need baking, still made it into the checkout, though.

I left Ms F happy, with food for the whole week, nine litres of water, ginger beer, and a malfunctioning umbrella that, at least, no longer took up half the space on the landing.

Tonight's group run had GoodGymers from Ealing and Hounslow fliering. Not in Acton though. Today the team was in the streets near Ealing Broadway Centre and The Library of Things that's based there.

"Is that a church?" - Anonymous GoodGymer
"No. That's Ealing Broadway Centre" - Sevan

Today's goal was to stop people worshipping at the altar of retail and spread the word about the Library of Things. Instead of buying items that people would use rarely, it offers items for rent to save people money and also reduce consumption and waste.

As well as Ealing Broadway Centre, there were real churches and grand buildings on the route too. On the way, the team snaked or leapfrogged (depending which GoodGym area was "home") along the streets of large houses, converted flats, steep stairs and dark passages. There was even an open gate to a private estate that was taken advantage of.

By raising the visibility of the Library of Things, perhaps Ealing's altar has been altered. Next time you walk past, there'll be people worshipping the locker and the items inside instead of the shop windows. 🙇‍♀️🙇🙇‍♂️