A Firey Tale of Olde Yorke - Chapter 2

On the last Saturday of the month of January, eight red-coated knights of the Order of Goodgym York descended on an old allotment patch to continue the good work of their predecessors. They had previously cut back a hundred years of brambles, revealed a creepy old shed, and burned piles of old wood in Chapter 1: A Firey Tale of Olde Yorke

On arrival, the council of allotment Wizards decreed:

“Leave only the timber… and let fire feast upon it later.”

And with that, they quickly embarked upon their task to sort the wood from the not‑wood and the burnable from the bewildering.

The scarlet heroes descended upon the patch and delved deeper into the far corners of the magical plot than any Yorkie had ever been. Each piece was lifted, shifted, dragged, or coaxed from the land with heroic effort — for no monster is more stubborn than abandoned gardening equipment.

Amongst the wood, which they sorted and stacked, they bravely uncovered a host of treasure to be banished from the allotment kingdom. Heavy items were hauled. Awkward items were wrestled. Confusing items were stared at for several long seconds while Egg the Enthusiastic took photos for posterity.

Their bounty included:

• Heavy metal rods (or perhaps a stash of giant's javelins) likely to have been forged in the underworld itself, and definitely weighing as much as a small dragon
• Broken windows (none showing a better view)
• A magic mirror (though nobody remembered to ask who was the fairest of them all)
• Hosepipes and fencing tangled like gossiping snakes
• A decorative shower screen, fully in tact as though placed there by goblins seeking cleanliness
• An ornate copper kettle, tarnished with years of grime.

An onlooker may have wondered why none of the red knights sought to polish the kettle until it gleamed, in the hope of revealing a genie from within to grant three wishes. Those who were wise to the January Quest of the order of Red Knights might assume it's because they had already smashed their January goals of achieving 600 good deeds and 10,500m of running walking and cycling, and so wanted for nothing more.

Each treasure was hauled away with great effort and mild confusion. Lady Ellie coveted an ancient sieve meant for fairy dust (or soil), and peasant's throne. She was granted permission to take them both home to give them new life.

Within an hour, a mighty stash of treasure was piled high at Allotment HQ, ready for it's ultimate banishment. The heroes wiped sweat from brows, mud from trainers, and made plans for lunch as they concluded their quest.

And so ends this chapter of the fairytale of Olde York— a tale of teamwork, treasure, and truly inexplicable finds.

Why not join us for the next instalment of this epic saga at Monday's group run, when once again our fearless band returns with reinforcements to the realm of determined brambles, forgotten junk, and community spirit.

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of York, there was an overgrown allotment. Following the death of the old allotment keeper, the brambles grew tall, with thick thorny stems curling around the fortifications (piles of wood) which protected the treble-locked castle (shed).

On the third day of January, ten red-coated Goodgym heroes traveled from quite nearby to tackle the chaos left behind by the old allotment keeper. Their mission was to release the shed from its thorny prison and reveal the magical contents within. Ultimately, the shed would be cleared and the allotment patch refreshed so that the council of allotment wizards could prevent the weeds taking over the whole kingdom, and the earth could once again bear fruit (and vegetables).

The red knights arrived armed with loppers, secateurs, rakes and saws. They quickly got to battle with the brambles. They joined the allotment keeper's son, who had already used his magical keys to unlock the shed. As they cleared the brambles, fair maiden Becca pushed the cuttings into a sack to be transported away. Once the brambles were cleared, Prince Paul Kelly set to work on dismantling the fortifications for Lady Lyndsey and Benevolent Ben to burn in a roaring fire.

Meanwhile, Lady Ellie and Magical Mitch couldn't resist the lure of the open shed door which contained hundreds of years of magical gardening implements (and more piles of wood). They dutifully removed the scrap wood from amongst the cobwebs to fuel the now furious fire. Lyndsey and Ben got busy casting spells over the flames to ensure they didn't burn down the beanstalk frames which they were dancing perilously close to.

To finish their misson, it was all hands on deck to lift a heavy metal fence from the soil and carry it to the allotment entrance for disappearance.

With their efforts the ten hardy GG Yorkies cleared the way for future Knights of the order of Yorkies to continue clearing the cluttered- cobwebbed shed on the morning of the 31st day of January.

Despite the pouring rain all day and the original task being cancelled, we still had 19 hardy goodgymers turn out for the last group run of 2025!

We are very grateful to Laura for stepping in last minute and finding us a wide array of jobs at Holgate Community Garden. We had budlea cutters, compost shifters, leaf sweepers and woodchip weeders.

We soon rattled through the jobs then ended with some Christmas themed tag, where you had to sing a line from a Christmas song to release the tagged reindeer/snowman/holly/santa.

It was then back to base led by Pete and thats it for this year... except the party on Friday!

Despite the very soggy weather we got stuck into the tasks at the community garden. Ben had a tough job sweeping the wet leaves off the paths, Ellie dug up brambles and cleared the beds and Laura cut back the roses and cleared the beds. Callie, Ellie and Ben's dog, started to dig a hole which gave us an idea. Soon we had her joining in the task by digging the weeds and roots out of the bark chip in the play area. She finished by showing us her dog agility skills through the train.