Crunchy Time

This should have been a group run 🏃‍♂️

When Madhan powerwalked from West Ealing, pondering whether he will make it in time to Perivale by foot, he caught sight of Kash who was running in the same direction. They decided to run together and arrived 5 minutes ahead of time at Perivale Park Golf Course car park where they met the members of CURB and LAGER Can: Ben M(orris), Ben T(ea lover), Rachel, Doug, Cathy and Mark. They were about to embark on a campaign against Himalayan balsam.

Himalayan balsam facts 💡

• it is an invasive weed, native to the Himalayas
• it came to the UK as a garden plant but quickly became a nuisance
• it grows rapidly and spreads quickly
• it smothers other vegetation
• it grows on river banks where its seeds can be easily transported downstream by water

Did you guys hear about ASMR? - Ben M

• it makes a satisfying, crunching sound when snapped or stepped on.

This definitely should have been a group run 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️

Ben M told us that the location of the balsam bash would be on the other side of the golf course. He offered us seats in one of the cars of CURB members to get there. We decided GoodGym would run instead, so Ben gave us what3words directions:

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Not terrified by the ominous-sounding location nor the bombardment of golf balls, we charged across the golf course like mad people.

After zig-zagging to get around a stream, we hit the riverbank. No one was there. We ran upstream and then downstream, but we couldn't see the others. We crossed a footbridge to get to the South riverbank, but our fellow balsam bashers weren't there. After calling Cathy, we found out that the rest of the team was still on its way. Finally, we saw Rachel and Ben T and helped them bring the equipment to the place called...

plug.thick.unwanted

Crunch time 🤜

Ben M kindly lent Madhan and Kash wellies, so they could enter the jungle without ruining their trainers. He gave everyone a safety briefing, trying to not put us off by mentioning dangers like:

• giant hogweed ☣️
• polluted water, containing E-coli and sewage 🤢
• strong current and deep water ☠️

We entered the thicket and found ourselves surrounded by muddy patches covered in dead balsam, defeated by the previous expeditions and tall stalks of still alive enemy plants.

After being stung many times by oversized nettles, we found fields covered almost entirely with balsam. For more than 2.5 hours we indulged in mindless pulling the weeds with shallow roots and celery-like stalks, savouring the crunching sounds they made.

It's like eating crisps in a library - Madhan

Muscle work 💪🏽

We cleared a vast area of the riverbank off the Himalayan balsam plague but it looked like we'd need to come back another time to pull the remaining plants. Before heading off, Ben M took a group photo.

Ok, class dismissed! - Cathy

Cathy, who values a good litter pick over the joys of balsam bashing, collected five bags of rubbish that had to be transported to the nearest area accessible to Greener Ealing. Madhan, Kash and Mark took that job and, after some serious upper body workout, they dropped the waste on the other side of the river by the road.

Madhan and Kash then set off to conquer supermarkets, chai shops and gardens of Greenford.