A solitary figure scuttled across the border from Hounslow to Ealing on a dark, rainy evening. Companion-less for the first time this year, Alan was on his way to supply Mr G with his weekly shopping.

The Ealing resident had unintentionally slept through the whole day, waking just before Alan’s 6pm arrival. Initially bleary eyed, he was soon on sparkling form, positing novel perspectives and amusing solutions for the grand challenges facing the world.

The supermarket own-brand yogurts proffered as an experiment by last week’s GoodGym shoppers met with approval. This week, Alan pushed the envelope still further by deviating from the usual strawberry/raspberry flavours. Mr G seemed pleasantly excited by the prospect of sampling mango + passion fruit.

After further varied chat, ending somehow with an appraisal of the mannerisms of Marie Antoinette, Alan bid Mr G adieu…à la prochaine.