Rebel without a Claus

Ten GoodgymElfs (Ed, Simon, Mitch, Nick and all the jingle ladies - Katie K, Katie McC, Vicky, Emma, Jenna and Nicky) met up with the good folks from the Rotary club for the second year to go on a sleigh ride around the streets of Woodthorpe bringing Santa to children big and small and raising money for York Mind. Ed has very high 'elf-esteem' and so had agreed to take on the starring role and soon got suited up in red.

But he was looking a bit thin so Nicky kindly asked if he would like to "borrow her belly" - everyone was mystified until it became clear that she meant her bum bag which was creating a nice little paunch in her Santa suit.

Katie K had dressed as a Christmas Tree for the occasion, Katie McC was all elfed up, Emma had the tiniest little Santa hat known to man, Jenna had very sensibly packed biscuits and a flask of something hot for the expedition (there was talk of hipflasks if it was going to this bloomin' cold next year as even Emma, fresh back from Finland, was shivering) and there were several recycled Chase the Pud costumes in evidence.

So, as soon as Ed was loaded up with tins of Quality Street for the kids, it was on with the ear splitting distorted Christmas Carols and off we went. Doors were knocked, dogs were barking, coins were collected, everyone seemed to come to the door in their pyjamas and onesies, some people brought their dogs out to see Santa (!?) and it soon got competitive to see who could nab the biggest note in their collecting tin.

One little girl emptied a whole tin of copper coins out for us and the looks of delight on the faces of all the kids gathered on the street corners was just joyous, making 3 hours in the freezing cold all worthwhile. One very sweet lady gave me a tenner as the only change she had was for her bus fare in the morning, passing motorists wound down their windows to give us cash and we even dropped into the pub to grab a bit more shrapnel and didn't even stay for a quick snifter - no badgym here.

Katie was offered £5 for the collecting tin and "£1 for herself" and Vicky excitedly reported that a very fit young man in a dressing gown had offered her a fiver! All in a good cause!

Meanwhile Santa Ed was up to 'snowgood' and was overheard asking a passing female police officer if she'd "been a good girl this year" - and yet somehow failed to get himself arrested!

The LandRover pulling the sleigh regularly had to do 5 point turns in cul de sacs and at least twice reversed into overhanging trees, Ed was accused of giving out chocolates too generously (but somehow I never got one) and at times the sleigh was pulled at high speed to catch up with the collecting crew causing Ed to have to hold on for 'deer life' but apart from that the whole affair passed off with very little incident and Ed was in his element in the role of Santa Claus - he came, he thawed, he conquered and was absolutely 'Sleighin' It'!

I've run out of puns - that's it now, there's no myrrh.