Many will know that it's become tradtion

To write a fairytale about this mission

Where an old allotment keeper's plot is cleared

Of treasures collected over a hundred years.

But Legendary Leanne gets easily bored

Of doing the same things for the same applause,

So she thought that this might be a good time

To weave a tale, inspired by Roald Dahl's Revolting Rhymes.

--

In previous weeks the GG Yorkies had been

To give an allotment in Holgate a big spring clean,

They'd chopped back brambles and dug out roots,

Then emptied the shed of all its loot.

They carried old tools, treasures and knick knacks

And piled them up at the end of the track.

Then, they burned all the wood they found

In a blazing fire that lit up (a bit too much) ground.

--

Now, those in the know can tell you straight

That the heart of a goodgymer isn't really that great -

You see, the thing that they crave isn't growth and construction,

What they really want is chaos and destruction.

This is why a task to demolish a shed

Got eight red clad knights out of their beds.

I know this is true because you could easily spy

A dangerous destructive glint in their eyes.

--

They started by talking about health and safety

(Which is something you always have to do lately).

Some sensible knights topped their armour with masks

Because it was sure to be a dusty task.

They ventured inside to tear out cupboards and shelves

And remove some glass, to protect themselves

From the carnage that was soon to be created

When the shed was recklessly decimated.

--

James and Ben tore off the door

Becca and Jane rolled up carpet from the floor

Vicky separated the metal, plastic and wood,

Jen carried them away from where the shed stood

Then James stepped in a pane of glass,

So Ellie swooped in to save his ass,

And in a calm and efficient manner

She broke all the windows with a sledge hammer.

Some joined in to pick up the shards

While others were still working hard

to bring that shed down to the ground

(and rehome all the spiders we found).

Helen emptied a butt of water -

Leanne wasn't impressed when the splashes caught her!

But at least it gave them a bit more room

To spread out the wreckage when the shed met its doom.

--

Soon only half of the shed remained,

It's solid foundations now barely sustained,

It was time to use some real brute force

To bring it crashing down - of course!

Ben stepped up and grabbed the hammer

In a confident, enthusiastic manner

It made the onlooking goodgymers drool

to see Ben wield such a manly tool

He took his aim and swung it back

He made contact with a mighty crack

At first it didn't make much of a difference

But each blow added more significance

Until the shed roof dramatically tumbled

And the rotten wood below finally crumbled.

--

When the hour was up, I must confess,

There was still an awful lot of mess,

So everyone, without grumbling

(even though their tummies were rumbling)

Stuck around to create some kind of order

Within that large allotment border.

We left a lot of wood behind

So check the GG website, and soon you'll find

Another task listed for next week

to tidy up (so to speak -

There will in fact be a blazing fire

For everybody to admire.)

And so with that, we can put to bed

The tale of the magical allotment shed.

The three of us net for a slick operation today! Twenty minutes of action and all the tables and chairs were away, the hall was swept and carpet hoovered! Boom!