The Weed-cher

Ninety years ago in Bermondsey, a man planted a rosebush behind his house. The bush grew tall and beautiful, and many years later, the man's granddaughter took care of the plant. She loved her garden and tended to all her plants with a passion. She looked after the rosebush so diligently that it became spoiled and impudent. It tried to grow high beyond the roof and reach the sky. When Ms K - that was the granddaughter's name - became seventy, she didn't have the strength to keep the rosebush in check. Its heavy stalks reached the other side of the fence. Cats and birds in the neighbourhood started disappearing, and the dogs barked at the bush. The rumours were that the thorny Beast of Bermondsey was capturing and eating passersby at night. Ms K worried that the rosy terror would cause her trouble with the neighbours and the council so much she considered hiring a monster hunter.

Sevan of Ealing was looking for jobs on the Southwark's notice board and saw a contract to defeat the Beast of Bermondsey. He travelled to South London and was surprised to see Kash of Acton in front of Ms K's house. She was, just like Sevan, taking up contracts for monster plants. They decided to remain professional and not argue about who should take down the Beast of Bermondsey. Ms K invited both of them to her back garden and asked if they would like some tea. The plant monster hunters politely said no and raced to the nightmarish rosebush. Sevan was quicker and took shears as his weapon. Kash grabbed a small but new and sharp secateurs that was Ms K's birthday present.

Sevan was bold enough to attack the tallest of the rose stalks while Kash jumped on a garden chair and chopped down the ones that grew in the direction of Ms K's window. The thick branches Sevan had pruned crawled on the ground and tried to escape from the garden. Kash quickly chopped them into pieces and threw them into a waste bag. For each branch Sevan had cut, two new ones grew back. He had to severe them closer to their base. When he grabbed and pulled one of the largest branches, the Beast of Bermondsey surrounded and trapped him with thorny stems. Kash cut them down to release Sevan, who bent the large branch down. Kash could then jump and reach its top. Sevan, not having to pull the stem anymore, released his hand and chopped the Beast's arm at its base.

The fight took longer than expected. The plant monster hunters had to act quickly: severe each stalk, chop it into pieces and bag it. Soon, the Beast was without its malicious, long arms. Without its deadly weapons, it turned back into a regular rose bush. Ms K was very grateful and allowed Sevan and Kash to do some relaxing weeding at the end. Sevan trimmed a bay leaf bush to make space for Ms K to walk in the garden. The laurels that fell down were symbols of victory over the Beast of Bermondsey and the reward for Sevan and Kash (the plant monster hunters' code does not allow them to accept payment in gold). The bay leaves will be an excellent ingredient for the stews to keep warm in the winter between the monster-slaying contracts!