The Absence of the Lambs

1 GoodGymer made their way to help an isolated older person in Ealing.

: Friday, 29th of September 2023

Here's what Mr K of W13 had to say about the mission:

From referrer: Hello GoodGym, Hope this email finds you well. Again, I want to say a big thankyou to your service and to your volunteers. Mr K is very happy with the volunteers- he has asked me to contact you to say a big THANKYOU for the shopping that was done and for how kind the volunteer was to him.

Mr K of W13, mission beneficiary

Inspector K, after biting off more than she could chew on her previous case, decided to lay low and take an easy investigation in West Ealing. Some canary has been singing about rubbish mysteriously disappearing around Dean Gardens and West Ealing station. Inspector K suspected LAGER Can or GoodGym to be associated with the litter disappearance but she didn't find any blue waste bags at the crime scene. She decided to interview residents living near the West Ealing station.

The narrative becomes knotty as Kew Bridge bunting now as Inspector K's first interviewee was Mr K. Inspector knocked on Mr K's door and heard coughing and promises that he is coming to the door. The tenant showed up at the entrance to his flat, barely standing. Inspector K knew she needed to extract the leads from him quickly before Mr K became too exhausted. When questioned about the missing litter, Mr K implied he might have an idea about it. The only free information in West Ealing though were the headers in Metro paper in front of the tube station. Inspector K had to earn Mr K's trust and pay for the tip.

Mr K needed a favour. Suffering from a lung disease, he couldn't do his groceries. Lamb chops and lamb sausages were on his list. Inspector K ran to Waitrose and used her inquisitiveness to locate all the products... all but the lamb sausages. She scouted the lamb section, the sausage section and the ethnic meat section. None of the leads traced back to anything that looked like a lamb sausage. Eventually, Inspector K consulted a store colleague who unveiled that Waitrose doesn't seem to have lamb sausages. At least one mystery was solved today! The inspector went to the checkout to pay for the groceries and then returned to Mr K's home.

"Greener Ealing", said Mr K, "They took all the litter".

Again, the case turned out to be bigger than Inspector K had anticipated. It involved a company working for the local authority who were untouchable. Inspector K gave up for the day and went home to chain-eat figs she had bought at Waitrose.

Report written by Kash