Who Wants to Be a Foilionaire?

I wanted to finish 2023 with a bang, so I registered my interest in two GoodGym contests full of tricky challenges to win them single-handedly. After winning the first trial, I ran to Ms B's flat which turned out to be a game show studio.

The host welcomed me to the show and led me to the set. There, she presented me with a challenge: a case of insulating two 190 cm tall windows. One of the windows had bubble wrap on it. Ms B explained that my predecessor used the bubble wrap as the insulation, but Ms B didn't like it as it obstructed the view outside. She bought a different kit containing a plain, flat plastic foil sheet. My window-insulating precursor said it was impossible to use that as insulation like the bubblewrap, but Ms B had forgotten the reason for it. The most tricky factor I could see was that there were blinds on both windows, and it was not possible to remove them.

It felt hot in the studio - or maybe I started sweating because of the upcoming challenge? Surely, it was just the temperature! Ms B asked the question: how do I think I can insulate her windows? There were no multiple-choice answers, so I came up with my own options:

1) stick the plastic sheet to the glass under the blind - that seemed wrong to me and was not easier than the other options
2) stick the plastic sheet to the inner window frame over the blind - Ms B wouldn't be able to move the blinds anymore
3) stick the plastic sheet to the outer window frame over the blind - Ms B wouldn't be able to move the blinds or open the window anymore
4) stick the plastic sheet to the frame on the outside of the window - the installation would be easy, but the foil or the sticky tape might not cope well with the British weather

My instinct was telling me the answer, but I didn't want to blow the first question. And I had my lifelines!

Phone a Friend

I decided to contact the greatest engineer I met in my lifetime: my Dad!

"Excuse me, this conversation won't be in English."

The call in a foreign language took away some amusement from the show, but Ms B waited patiently for the verdict. I got a confirmation from my Dad that the first option was not good and that the bubble wrap sheet was the only one that would work when attached directly to the glass. The insulation required a layer of air to make the double-glazing effect work!

Ask the Audience

Ms B was my only audience, so I asked her for a second opinion. After all, those were her windows. She wasn't confident about her expertise but agreed with my and my Dad's concerns about option 4 and the unforgiving winter weather that could ruin the plastic foil. Ms B also made a decision that she would accept sacrificing the possibility of moving the blinds and fixing them in the most optimal position for her. When she manipulated the blinds, I felt the whole show set darkened and I was in the spotlight. Time to make a decision?

50:50

Ms B didn't have a preference between options 2 and 3, so I decided to use the "fifty-fifty" lifeline. It was useless because the show was in my head, so the game algorithm eliminated options 1 and 4. What a bummer. I decided to give Ms B the chance to open the window and work around the blinds when fitting the foil rather than around the widow handle. I went for 2.

"Is that your final answer?"

A dramatic pause.

"Yes."

If you think the challenge ended here, you're wrong. It just started. I had to make my plan a reality. First, Ms B reminded me about something I had asked for before the start of the mission: to prepare a cloth and soapy water to wipe the window frames clean. I got on a step ladder and cleaned the frames. I wiped the glass parts with Windolene as well because Ms B really wanted her windows clear before we covered them with foil.

I measured the window frame, then spread the 9m long plastic sheet on a carpet with a mesmerising pattern which was not a great help for measuring and cutting the foil into smaller pieces. I trimmed the sheet into the shape I needed and proceeded to the next stage: sticking the double-sided tape onto the window frame. Easy-peasy. At that point, classical music started which helped me concentrate on fitting the sheet on the window. The last chapter of the challenge had me giving the foil a blow dry with Ms B's hairdryer to remove any creases. Voilà! One window was insulated and Ms B could clearly see the world outside. We decided to finish there, keep the bubble wrap on the other window and wait for the colder days, so that Ms B could test and decide whether her new double glazing does the job.

I wished Ms B a Happy New Year and went downstairs... using the stairs. That was a mistake. The staircase led me to the car park under the building from where there was no escape - or so I thought. I already took a risk and let the building door shut behind me. I could not open it again without a fob and I couldn't open the parking gate to freedom. What kind of fire exit was that? I encountered the residents exiting the building through the pedestrian gate and asked them for some support. Of course, they wouldn't make their way back to the building to let me in, and then let me out. I decided to adventurously jump the fence, then run in the rain to Finsbury Park station. 2023 indeed finished with a bang!