Let Me Prick You Up & Down, Til You Say Stop

It had been almost a year since Jonathan had helped Mrs M out and cleared the brambles that had grown heavily in the garden. It was time for the 2021 version - this time with me in hand.

Mrs M showed us the garden, which was covered in a thick green brambly carpet. Jonny, always the optimist, smiled ‘well it’s not as bad as last time eh?’, and started to clamber through the weeds. Mrs M cautiously showed us the tools, and before I could pick a pair of secateurs, Jonny was already fighting his way through a beast of a bramble!

We started by clearing a pathway from the back door to the sort of shed area, where access to the boiler was needed. Jonathan took the back corner, and I started on the steps, working my way down as I could whilst avoiding the evil shelled beasts that were trying to take over. Forget the brambles - it was the snails we needed to be wary of!

I thought I was very brave, and Jonny only had to do a handful of mollusc rescues, while we both chopped and dug out the spidery roots from the brambles. Every so often there would be an ‘ouch’ as I got pricked again, or the triumphant groan when a particularly devilish plant was pulled out. Jonny also helped to erect a stand for the fuchsia bush, which was flopping over in the far corner, whilst I bagged up the dislocated brambles.

Four black sacks of brambles and weeds (and probably a few unsuspecting garden critters) later, we were almost finished. Time flew by, a bit like the bees admiring the newly upright fuchsia, and Mrs M was absolutely over the moon with the efforts over the past two hours. Gone was the brambly floor, and although things needed a once over with a broom, the concrete path and the soil beneath were clearly visible again.

‘We’ll see you next time!’ Jonathan grinned as a beaming Mrs M waved us off with as many ‘thank yous’ as she could give. What can we say, we prick ass!