Attack of the conifers

Admiring the rest of the beautiful, very well-kept garden it was hard to imagine the job that awaited us. But when Nicola arrived -her second week on this particular task!- and Paul and I took a look at the bushes we started to realise that this was bigger than the mission description could really have encapsulated. These weren’t just bushes, they were conifers. And not only that but Ms E informed us that these particular conifers had been there as long as she’d lived in the house – 40 years! This was definitely quite a mission – and for Paul his very first too!

Nicola, Paul and I weren’t to be beaten by them. Setting to work we took hold of a variety of long-handled loppers and secateurs and cut back as many of the branches as possible. Before long I was climbing into the conifer to get to the back of it and the mountain of cut branches was growing rapidly behind us. But we could proudly say we were making some leeway with it, what had been bushes now starting to look like stumps. We might not get them all out but it was definitely heading in the right direction.

With Paul and I continuing to hack away at the stumps, seeing how low we could get them, Nicola decided to have a go at the roots. However it soon became apparent that her previous experience with these conifers had lulled her into a false sense of security – this particular stump was a mass of incredibly thick, incredible deep roots. No matter how much of a trench Nicola dug down around it, cutting at the roots and hacking at the stump, the thing wouldn’t budge.

Eventually, carefully avoiding the almost-avalanching mountain of conifer cuttings and discovering scratches over both arms and legs, we realised that there was nothing more to be done. The roots weren’t moving but at least they had been thoroughly cut back. With enough cuttings to fill her green bin for weeks Ms E was very happy with the extra space and light she’d gained – the attack of the conifers was over.