The first thing on the lovely Mr J’s list was a request for candles. This was too good an opportunity not to attempt to re-enact the old Two Ronnies sketch for “Four Candles.’ Alas, the shopkeeper was too young to be aware of of the sketch and the other things the request might sound like - ‘fork handles’ or, bringing it into the 21st century, and spoken with a South African accent, ‘four Kindles.’

The rest of the shop was fairly standard except for a fruitless search for dried fruit up and down a very cold and quiet Deptford High Street.