Why did the tonne bag cross the road?

GoodGymers never know what Elsa from Friends of Horsenden Hill will have in store for them. After tasks like shed rolling, nettle bashing and preventing goats from escaping, the creativity bar was raised high!

Before we offered our services to Elsa, we spotted a side quest available: setting up gazebos for the tap and pizza day later today. As the weather forecast looked pretty soggy for the whole day, there were plenty of tents to put up to keep the tables dry.

We reported to Elsa who gave us rakes and tonne bags, and led us into a new spot this time: Horsenden Hill West. The official assignment was to collect the hay from a meadow and drag all of it to Horsenden Farm to promote the growth of wildflowers in the area recently cleared of brambles, thistles and bindweed.

In reality, we were a special EBI (Ealing Bureau of Investigation) unit on a mission to obscure the existence of the crop circles that appeared in Perivale last night. We raked all the hay and hauled it in tonne bags to Ealing's Area 51 across the road to scatter it over a meadow closed to the public.

Madhan was gathering metrics for our HQ to report on our performance. The average time of two people pulling a bag of hay across the road, dropping the contents onto the secret meadow and coming back was 9 minutes.

It turned out to be less rainy than we expected but the hay was already soaked, so the loads were extra heavy. Dangers were awaiting us on the way: fast and furious drivers on the road and slow and furious giant slugs. We thought those monsters might have had something to do with the crop circles.

We transported 5 bags of hay in total.

By the end of the job, after sliding them over the tarmac, the bags looked pretty battered. To say they had holes in their bottom parts would be an understatement - they no longer had bottoms at all!

After dealing with the crop circles, EBI agents went to investigate a different kind of circular object: fire-baked pizza from Horsenden Bakery. The close examination confirmed they were as tasty and rewarding as the craft beer and coffee on site.

5th August 2123

Horsenden Hill West is off-limits and surrounded by a barbed wire fence to protect the rest of Ealing from enormous alien slugs. Grand Union Canal has dried out after the water has been sucked by giant man-eating wildflowers that started growing in the area in 2024. The Horsenden buffer zone is controlled by intelligent goat mercenaries. The rebellious goat youth joins GoatGym and sneaks out to Ealing where social visits have been finally launched in 2098. Young goat volunteers befriend older humans to eat biscuits, cakes and socks and learn about the pre-goat civilisation. The most popular beneficiary is Madhan, the only surviving volunteer from Horsenden Hill and the first GoodGymer who reached 5000 good deeds, achieving this during the Slug Wars, when he worked quadruple shifts every day at City Harvest Acton to feed the starving humanity.