Unleashing Beauty from the Beast

“We can do this. We will do this”, we rehearsed in anticipation of quite the mission based on the task description. Nothing could have prepared us for what lay in store - this was the bracken and bramble version of the Amazon.

As the mission was quite far from our ‘hoods and trains on strike, we both “opted” for cycling there. When we say “opted”, we mean that Samia succumbed to the peer pressure inflicted during yesterday’s community mission as she was tempted to “2 bus it” to Barnes. So so grateful for that peer pressure now though - admittedly it was a beautiful ride across through Richmond Park and much more enjoyable to be in the breeze than sweltering on public transport and managed to squeeze in a mini pre-mission run still - so thank you, Kate!

We could just about make it through the door into the garden and, although we were initially bramboozled about where to start, we soon realised that we had no choice but to cut whatever was in front of us as there was literally no room for us to fit. Armed with her brother’s pair of squeaky secateurs, Samia got cutting away at anything in her eyeline, whilst Kate used the loppers (or “snippers” as some Canadians may call them...) to tackle the higher growth. At tier 3, Liz, the lovely and very helpful referrer, got clearing the undergrowth and bagging up the brambles and bracken that were being strewn in her direction.

Seeing as this was a massive task, Mr D opted for us to focus on clearing the path/length of the garden and leaving the width-way for a later date. Squeaky snip by squeaky snip, we managed to venture further and further into the garden. This was bracken breaking work, but we made slow but steady progress.

These rose bush thorns are bracken me crazy”

Whilst Samia continued to clamber through the brambles in an attempt to be the Bear Grylls of Barnes, Kate was trying to tame an overgrown rose bush that was blocking our way to deforestation.

We couldn’t see how big the garden when we arrived but gradually uncovered the sight of the greenhouse (it still is in the distance but at least we now know it exists at the end of the garden), along with a dearth of discoveries:

• A path

• 2 garden chairs

• Various chimney planters

• A Belfast sink

• A stone bench

• An apple tree (with apples!) (we doubt these are poisonous but bear this in mind for a pun reference later...)

• A lilac tree

• A pretty border edging

• Various planters and troughs

• A washing line.

When Kate reached the bench(mark), we decided to focus on bagging up all of the thorns and bracken.

We were twisting and spinning the bracken wheel of Thorntune to get it into the bags!”

And with the diameter of rhubarb, these brambles were not for the faint hearted. With more squeaking we managed to cut them into smaller bits for bagging, but even then they managed to find a way to break the bags. Eventually we discovered a technique of “brambles, bracken, roll then bag”.

Continuing our learning from our weekend of community missions this weekend (dragonfly biology on Saturday and Kate’s balloon knot tying on Sunday morning), Samia enlightened Kate on how it IS possible to fit both GoodGym Kingston and the Great British Bake Off in on the same evening using the benefits of restarting the current programme on Channel 4 On Demand once we get home from the group run. No longer are we faced with cake versus running dilemmas - we really can have our cake and eat it! Once again, every day’s a school day (quite apt as Kate prepares for a new term tomorrow). (Nb: this explains the use of several TV-related puns...)

This was not only a Game of Thorns, by the end of the mission we were Breaking Bags!

Even though there was a huge amount left to hack, we used Kate’s new-found benchmark to decide on the limit for this visit - but never(land)theless felt a huge sense of achievement when we realised how much more of the garden could be seen (and even just the fact that the garden can now be entered was quite an achievement)

Customary before/after GIF following a @GGRichmon mission this afternoon pic.twitter.com/wsyhlcXgkZ

— GoodGym Richmond (@GGRichmon) September 2, 2018

Bags carried through the house to the front garden, we lined them up and remarked how it was like Snow White and the Seven Bags.

All that was left to do was a lovely chatty cycle ride home through Richmond Park, not forgetting to wave to Bambi as we rode past.