Contemporary Tales

The Man and Woman Who Stare at Goats

The first chapter of the adventure starts on a sunny afternoon at Stepney City Farm with a man and a woman who stare at goats. Sevan and Kash were exercising their psychic powers to remotely trim the grass in Mrs A's garden using their minds. They conjured a vivid image of an overgrown garden with bindweed, brambles and nettles all over the place. The mental jungle they created looked so unpenetrable that they couldn't even find the tool shed they imagined. They decided that visiting Mrs A in person would be way more practical and fun.

The reality of Mrs A's back garden turned out to be much more manageable. The grass was too tall to be cut by a mower, but Mrs A had shears and Sevan and Kash had a proven strategy in place. Firstly, Sevan cut all the tall grass with shears, and Kash raked it and put it into a green waste bag. It was time for the second phase: mowing the grass in the middle.

Snailmageddon

The lawnmower was in mint condition with a cover still sitting on its plug. It didn't look like anyone had ever used it. Kash was going to take it for its maiden voyage. The moment the mower was plugged in, the GoodGymers knew there will be casualties among the molluscs. This time Sevan refused to engage in his favourite sport of chucking snails over the fence, explaining that he didn't want to make the snails someone else's problem. Although care had been taken to avoid this, some innocent snails lost their homes, family members and lives under Kash's trainers and mower blades. The snails with cracked shells were left on the battlefield, while the battered clothes pegs with missing limbs were collected and chucked into a bucket with other litter found in the grass. GoodGym gardening missions are joyous and fun, just not for snails and misplaced clothes pegs.

Snow White Dwarfs and a Polychromatic One

Don't let yourself be saddened by the snails' story. Sevan's and Kash's new order in the garden brought a touching family reunion. Two white ceramic dwarfs sitting on paving slabs were identical siblings but had an estranged brother who looked quite different to them. He was known in the family for his flamboyant, colourful outfits and rather bohemian lifestyle. Not accepted by his conservative relatives, he became apathetic and slowly withdrew from his circle of extravagant friends to become a hermit living in thick bushes.

When, many years later, Sevan pulled the weeds from the corners of Mrs A's garden, he discovered the gnome who had hidden from the outside world. He still looked colourful and full of life, so Kash told him to sort himself out and get back to his brothers. After a tearful family reunion, the polychromatic dwarf found his new home on the paving slabs, not so far from his siblings. He refused to pose for the family photo though, so you can only believe the storyteller that the tale is true.

Sparegate

The third phase of the mission was the cherry on top. Sevan and Kash pulled the weeds growing alongside the fence, then gave the lawn the final shave around the edges. After some rake and brush action, all the grass and weeds were packed into four green bin bags. The GoodGymers called Mrs A for advice on where to dispose of the garden waste.

Mrs A was confident she can dump the green bags herself at the front of her house but they happened to be quite heavy. She then came up with an idea. On the side of Mrs A's garden, there was a spare gate out of the backyard. Sevan and Kash believed that it led to the front of the house. Contrary to their intuition, the gate was an ancient device that created a wormhole, enabling travel to a similar gate elsewhere in the multiverse. Mrs A instructed the GoodGymers on how to open the inter-universe tunnel. Sevan and Kash grabbed the waste bags and boldly went through the gate, landing in Biniverse, whose inhabitants were animate bins that ate everything that came their way. The shocked GoodGymers dropped the garden waste which was quickly devoured by a passerby bin. They jumped back through the gate just in time to escape the hungry Biniverse citizen, then barricaded the access to the dangerous ancient device.

Mrs A was sorry to hear that her helpers were almost eaten by a bin. She offered them compensation for their troubles, both for gardening and running for their lives in Biniverse. Sevan and Kash refused, explaining that GoodGym's code forbids accepting rewards and gifts. They were grateful for the soft drinks and glasses of cold water kindly supplied by Mrs A during their work on a lovely sunny day. That was something they couldn't experience by creating mental images in their heads. They realised that going on GoodGym missions is far superior to having psychic powers.