The lovely Ms Y was well aware that the Co-Op wouldn’t have ‘Mansize’ tissues but wasn’t sure what to ask for. I noted that if they were like me they’d be small and puny, not at all strong but the box could go on forever.

So I rang up to check whether ‘Responsibly Sourced, Supersoft, Large, Tissues’ would be OK. She said that would be fine, although not to expect her to remember the name next time! I did wonder what ‘Irresponsibly Sourced’ ones would be like but realised that it was a bit like me….